Just last year came exciting news from Nottingham in the UK. Keep in mind there’s been nothing of note come out of Nottingham since the tales of Robin Hood emerged, and that was 800 years ago. This exciting news even has something in common with the fictional world of Robin Hood, in as much as  it concerns videogames and the tales they have to tell.

Dr Souvik Mukherjee is a researcher and videogame narrative expert from the School of Arts and Humanities at Nottingham Trent University. How great would it be to have such a niche qualification? The academic conferences are possibly lonely affairs, but it has to be neat being an expert in a field that no one else has studied.  But I digress.  Now according to Dr Mukherjee, the complex mesh of possible storylines and deep levels of involvement in videogame narratives relate to, and often surpass, the experience of earlier narrative media, such as books and films. In short he believes computer games have the same value as literary texts. ‘Take that Mum. Zing!’

Says Dr Mukherjee, “Though often unfairly dismissed as toys for children, computer games are far more complex than that. Most gamers, adults and children alike, play these games because of the stories they tell. So, whilst many focus on the violence in videogames, the narrative potential of these games should also be explored.”

He would get no argument from Lionhead boss Peter Molyneux (Fable, Fable 2) who, back in March 2009, famously predicted “Godfather” levels of storytelling in games by 2016. At the time, Molyneux was taking part in Edge Magazine’s issue #200 roundtable which had posed the following question: ‘By 2016 (the year when Edge issue #300 should be published), will we be any closer to that completely immersive narrative experience?’ As reported by MTV, Molyneux explained, “We’re starting to realise our uniqueness, and that we’ve got the ability to do things that no other medium has had before. I think by 2016 we’re going to have a truly amazing story, which will be cited as the equivalent of ‘The Godfather’ on film.”

In April 2009 at GDC, Molyneux upped the ante even more. Speaking to VG247 he said, “I think I was wrong about that Godfather line… I think we can surpass where the Godfather is. Here’s the thing about games: you’re involved in them. And part of the stories that we tell, if we tell them in the right way, and we give you access to the right tools as you’re playing, you will feel engaged and involved in them in a way that you cannot feel engaged and involved with any film, or even book.”

Back in the forests of Nottingham, Dr Mukherjee studied how games have been influenced by earlier forms of media such as film, comics and graphic novels and in turn, as was the case of Max Payne, can contain a strong enough narrative to lead to a film adaptation.

Not a great adaptation to be sure. For the purposes of the column and consistent with my fine tradition of procrastinating, I watched the movie the other night. That’s a hundred minutes of my life I’m never getting back. Of course failed adaptations aren’t always the fault of the source material. (In the case of the Max Payne movie, and in defence of Remedy, had the script been more true to the videogame, the movie may well have been more successful). For every Shawshank Redemption, and indeed The Godfather – stories that successfully make the transition from the page to the big screen – there are films such as The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy which fail miserably.

While I largely agree with Dr Mukherjee’s findings, and while I certainly admire Peter Molyneux’s audacity and ability to generate a headline, I’m not sure that the videogame medium needs to surpass or supplant any other existing medium.
Just as great cinema in no way makes great literature redundant, I believe gaming can similarly expand its narrative scope and emotional capacity to engage its audience without diminishing in any way the importance and relevance of other art forms and other mediums. Videogames don’t need to topple other art forms and other media to be taken seriously or to achieve greater mainstream and critical success.

The narrative that exists on a canvas is different to the narrative running through a poem; the story structure of a screenplay, different to that of a short story or a novel. Different is the key word. Not better; just different.
Great books, great films, poetry and art can and do exist side by side. So can videogames. Let’s not forget that there are already fine examples of good story telling in the videogame world; games such as Shadow of the Colossus or Bioshock.

Narrative structure in videogames can be simple and clichéd, or minimalist, as was the case with Ico.  It can also be rich and multilayered like last year’s blockbusters Grand Theft Auto IV and Metal Gear Solid 4, or the story driven challengers from 2010, Heavy Rain and Alan Wake.

While film and the written word may have both short and long form, videogaming is still very much an evolving medium, not yet constrained by convention. I have no doubt it will continue to mature and develop.

Videogaming doesn’t need to topple the works of Shakespeare (or for that matter the works of Mario Puzo) anymore than Hollywood needed to, in order to achieve greatness and acceptance as a legitimate art form.

Parts of this article were originally published on PALGN, (25 April 2009) .  © Jeremy Henderson

I need a game I can finish. Seriously; if I failed to complete books the way I fail to finish videogames I’d be illiterate and still half way through ‘Where is the Green Sheep’ (I’ve read it twice). Nor have I ever walked out of a movie screening either, and it’s not just my Scottish heritage or that I only see great movies. I once dated a girl who worked at a local art-house movie theatre which mostly screened the movies that Dendy rejected. I didn’t walk out of those foreign language stinkers either and they were free. Admittedly, I did fall asleep a couple of times.

No, I like to start what I finish. It’s the completionist in me. Blame it on a Protestant work ethic, stubbornness or determination, but there’s a level of satisfaction in turning the last page of book, watching the credits roll on a film, or the season finale of a favourite TV show. Ticking it off my ‘list of things to do’ is all part of the experience.

If you’re getting that same level of satisfaction from videogames on a regular basis then good luck to you. Not me. My collection of unfinished games – my pile of shame – far outweighs the titles I’ve clocked from start to finish. Sure there are more books and movies in the world then I’ll ever find the time to read or watch but the difference is I don’t tend to swing by my local Borders and drop cold hard cash on books and movies and then only partially consume them. My failure to complete all my games is my pastime’s greatest sense of frustration.

Am I just collecting games for the sake of it? Perhaps it’s a sickness? On an episode of CSI, (Kill me if you can) Dr Raymond Langston remarked that "Collecting is pathological whether you’re a rich man or a serial killer." Still, he’s a fictional character on a fictional TV show, so I shouldn’t put too much faith in that. So why can’t I finish what I start?

I’m pretty discerning when it comes to the games that I play, so I don’t think I’m failing to finish games because they aren’t compelling enough. And it’s not like I’ve got a short concentration span either…’hey look, it’s an ice-cream truck.’

…Sorry. Where was I? Is it just me? Could be. Sure, I’m a videogame writer. Does that mean if you put a video game controller in my hand that I’m suddenly possessed with the stealth of a ninja, the physical strength and dexterity of LeBron James in full flight and the ability to out snipe NCIS special Agent Jethro Gibbs with one eye closed? It’s highly possible that I boasted as much on my Incomplete Gamer job application, but I may have played a little hard and fast with the truth; the stealth of an injured LeBron in full flight might have been closer to the mark.

Truth is, regardless of my gaming ability, I don’t think it is just me. We’ve all got our piles of shame. Over at the Neogaf Gaming forum, member LovingSteam posted a ‘call to arms’ entitled Resolve to finish one game this week and beyond!.

LovingSteam’s challenge: "So for all of us who have a gazillion games to finish, I say we should all agree to finish at least one game this week. It can be one that you are already playing or one you haven’t started. By this time next week let us all finish at least one."

And while we’re at it, lets sweep the leaves in the yard, mow the lawns and do a run to the tip. As one NeoGAF’er, Moz La Punk responded, "When did we agree to make playing games feel like work?"

Perhaps some of those titles we’ve abandoned were just inexcusably bad and didn’t deserve our time or attention. Perhaps we’ve grown and matured and what was shiny and bright and appealing to us six months ago is no longer of any interest. But what of the rest of the games, not played or incomplete? Titles we loved when we first played them six days, six weeks ago or six months ago, and still adore now. What’s stopping us from seeing those games through to the bitter end?

Now The Incomplete Gamer is all about solving problems. You won’t find me bitching and moaning about the way things are without at least putting up a few positive ideas. There has to be some simple reason why I’m not completing these video games. They are either too long, too hard or just too boring. Let’s take it as read that it’s not the latter. What can we do about those other two possibilities?

First up, I need a ‘Get Past’. Let me make myself perfectly clear. I don’t need a ‘Walkthrough’. Walkthroughs tell me what to do and where to go, but very rarely help me do it. Just forget the stuff I can work out myself. Save yourself the trouble. Seriously, no one wants a refresher course on the control system. We’ve got an in-game tutorial and a game manual and if i really thought there was something enlightening in those pages I’d take the time to read them. Nor do I need your bastardised take on the story. Don’t care, don’t need it…not listening. What I do need is details, and alternate strategies for the bits you know I’m going to get stuck on. Focus on the tricky stuff and forget the rest. Rather than a detailed one foot in front of the other walkthrough, concentrate on those tough sections. So many walkthrough’s simply tell me what I need to do. I already know what I’m meant to do. I just can’t do it. Give me a detailed, multiple strategy ‘Get Past’. That’s what we need…or is it just me?

One Titan Too Many

Developers; help me out here. How many times do you want me to die? Twenty? Thirty? Really? You don’t think the game is starting to lose it’s shine? I’ve gone to the walkthrough. I know what to do but I just can’t do it. I can’t kill all three Titans. I need one cut down by friendly fire and the other to grow restless and just wander away. I think I can cope with the one remaining Titan. That’s what I need; smart intuitive AI that will see me struggling and cut me some slack. Variable AI works both ways. If I’m shooting fish in a barrel, then take my gun away or at least stop leaving all those ammunition crates by my feet. Better still; don’t put the fish in a barrel. And don’t just tell me to play it on easy. I am playing it on easy! Variable AI will cut down on game length, or more accurately, will ensure that a ten hour game play will be a ten hour game play regardless of whether you’re a gaming god or just cannon fodder with a controller.

So you’ve hired a DVD from your local Blockbuster. It has more scratches than a hip hop DJ, and refuses to advance beyond a certain scene in the movie, repeatedly stopping at the same point. So you simply hit the FF button to get things moving along. Bingo. That’s what video games need. Don’t want to replay that scene over and over again until your eyeballs bleed? Hit the FF button. Sure it’s cheating and by all means, you can keep your trophies and your achievement points. Just let me finish the game.

Either a Fast Forward functionality or simply unlock it all from the start. I’m an adult. I bought the game. Let me play it all. If I want to play the last scene first then let me. If I only want to play the last scene, let me. Unlock it all from the g
et go and I’d likely complete the game (in a manner of speaking) that much more quickly and then you can sell me your next title. Everybody wins. Or is it just me?

This article was originally published on PALGN, (23 May 2009) .  © Jeremy Henderson

Instead I fire up my DS Lite and dive stealthily back into Assasin’s Creed: Altair’s Chronicles, and proceed to climb another ladder.

At this point I’ve climbed so many ladders, I’m not sure whether I’m an assasin or a tradesman.  Chances are, the last time you climbed this many ladders you were a carpenter trying to save a lady from an ape.  Between ladders I scrap with a couple of presky guards.  if you haven’t played the DS version, it’s pretty much Assasin’s Creed without the groundbreaking visuals and fluid control system.  In frustration I scream out “Die bastards die”.  Apparently; forgetting I’ve got my headphones on, I yell a little too loudly. There are a few elderly women dressed for tennis, sitting by the window who turn and give me the evil eye. What is their problem?

I turn off the DS Lite off and head to the counter to order a coffee. I give up…what the hell is with these cup sizes? Are they just trying to embarrass me? What ever happened to small, medium and large? Bloody baristas! I order a Tall flat white, but now the Smiling Assassin behind the counter wants my name. I don’t think so. Is that really necessary. Want to plant a satellite tracking navigation chip in my ear while you’re at it?

“You can call me Black Shirt”. I say to the Smiling Assassin. She sighs, shakes her head and motions to the three gentleman standing behind me in the line, all dressed entirely in black. “Ok, John Smith, call me John Smith”, I concede, while warily glancing back at the three menacing dark figures standing behind me. I hadn’t even seen them enter the building. Who are they and what are they doing in Starbucks? The Smiling Assassin is asking if I want to recharge my Starbucks card? What’s she implying now; that there’s not enough money left on the card? Now she’s whispering to the Frothy Milk Guy. Why is she whispering? I wait for what seems a lifetime for Frothy Milk Guy to call out “John Smith”.

I was going to pull out my Blackberry Bold and continue to read the news article about the link between violent video games and paranoid gamers but I just don’t want to turn my back on the three suits. Besides, I need to get back to the Holy Land, recover the Chalice and and shake things up a little. You’ll just have to read the article yourself.

There are a lot of good reasons to be revisiting Capcom’s Street Fighter Alpha 3 Max, the Street Fighter port released for the PSP back in 2006. Capcom celebrated its 25th birthday just a couple of weeks ago on June 11th. In May this year Capcom announced what we’ all suspected. Street Fighter 4; already heading to the arcades later this year, would also be making its way to PS3, Xbox360 and PC as well. Then there’s Kristin Kreuk. She’s still the best reason to watch Smallville, and currently she’s filming the latest Street Fighter movie – Street Fighter – the Legend of Chun Li, in Bangkok. Lastly, Street Fighter Alpha 3 Max was the first game ever reviewed by The Incomplete Gamer, albeit for another gaming website. As our first piece of review code, the UMD takes pride of place in the TIG lab.

But a word of warning. while the following review holds a special place in our heart, there’s nothing new here that we haven’t all seen before. If Street Fighter was a singer and not a game franchise it would have retired to Vegas a long time ago, where it could perform the same routine seven nights a week to its loyal fans.

Back in 2006, Capcom brought the Street Fighter love to the PSP with Street Fighter Alpha 3, and threw in enough extras to warrant the addition of the word ‘Max’ to the title. If you have even a passing interest in gaming then Street Fighter needs no introduction. Here’s a gaming franchise with a rich arcade gaming heritage, old school appeal and a hardcore fan base. The Street Fighter series is one of Capcom’s most popular franchises, with 25 million sales worldwide spread across almost every major home gaming platform over the years.

Fire up Street Fighter Alpha 3 Max and your PSP has instant street cred, without dabbling in any of that messy and legally suspect homebrew scene. There it is, in all its original arcade glory. Much has been made of the fact that what once took up the space of a medium sized washing machine and took two people to lift can now be played on a handheld, and not in some cut-down compromised form either, but a perfect port with a heap of extras thrown in for good measure. If the wonders of miniaturisation still float your boat, or if you’ve been left disappointed by less complete attempts to port your favourite Street Fighter game to a handheld in the past, then chances are you’ll be initially impressed by Capcom’s efforts.

Spoiled for choice.

The main menu welcomes you with a staggering 15 modes to choose from. Those new to the Street Fighter series or those just a little rusty might want to step into the Training Mode and work on their moves before jumping into Arcade Mode, where you’ll ‘experience all the action and story of the arcade hit’. In truth the story’s a bit on the thin side; this is simply a game where you beat the crap out of the opposition, or at least attempt to do just that. You are given a whopping 37 characters to choose from, including all of the characters from Street Fighter Alpha, and 4 new characters, Eagle, Yun and Maki from Capcom vs. SNK 2 and Ingrid from Capcom Fighting Evolution. There are also 2 unlockable characters as well, M. Bison and Shin Akuma. Each character has ten fights to battle through. Do the maths; you’ll be spending hours completing this mode alone.

At this point you might want to head back to the main menu. Go to Game Options and dial back the difficulty level – from 1 to 8 fiendishly difficult stars (the default is 4). Here you can also customise the number of rounds (1, 3 or 5), the game speed, and background and sound effect volumes. Still in Options Mode you’ll want to go to Button Configuration and change things more to your liking. If you are really struggling to win a single round, let alone a fight, you might want to assign a special move or combo to one of the shoulder buttons or any of the right hand face buttons. The hardcore players will cry foul, and certainly, assigning such moves to a single button, dumbs the game down dramatically, but the option is there if you need it. If you don’t know your ‘Hadouken’ from your ‘Spinning Back Knuckle’ then you might like to try assign a special move or combo to one button, at least until you literally find your feet.

Back to the Mode Menu. In World Tour, you can travel the globe and build your fighter’s power and ability. Dramatic Battle let’s you team up in a 2 on 1 battle, probably not a bad idea if you still find yourself battling with the controls and your opponents. Reverse Dramatic Battle turns the tables, putting you on the wrong end of a 2 on 1 showdown. Variable Battle is great for those with short attention spans – you can swap characters during the fight. Free Battle lets you pick your opponent, while Vs 100 Kumite lets you see how many fights out of a 100 you can survive. Final Battle as its name suggests puts you up against the bosses, while Survival Mode lets you see how many victories you can string together. Your high scores for all modes are available in Score Ranking. Edit Mode allows you to tinker with your character’s style, while Entry Mode allows you to enter an edited character into other modes. Rounding out the offerings is Network Mode. Sadly it’s ad-hoc only, and there is no game sharing so you may be hard pressed to find another Street Fighter toting PSP gamer ready to throw down.

If you can’t win in 2 on 1 Dramatic Battle mode you’re doing something wrong.

While the various modes on offer are impressive and you’d clock up many an hour before playing through all that’s to be had here, it’s the Street Fighter fighting mechanics that give this game it’s real depth. You can choose the game speed and your fighting style – the unusually named ‘ism’s X, V or A. The real enjoyment of any Street Fighter game is mastering the combos and supers, and in learning the individual strengths and weaknesses of the characters. This is no button masher. In fact even on the lower level of difficulty, button mashing will only get you through a couple of fights in Arcade Mode before you end up on the wrong end of the big K.O.

And here’s where things get difficult, both in game play and in recommending the game. If you’re one of the hard-core Street Fighter faithful, you would have been thrilled to discover one of the best received Street Fighter games ever had been faithfully ported to the PSP. But chances are you’ll be less than thrilled with the hardware the game is on. Give it an hour and your thumb will ache regardless of whether you persevere with the D pad or the analogue nub. I’ve been told that if you play through the pain, you’ll eventually come battle hardened and oblivious, but one week in, my thumb still feels like it’s been recently dislocated.

You might think the control problems may go some way to providing a bit of a leveller between the hardcore gamer and those new to the scene, but while the pain may be felt equally, and the experienced player may find some of the moves a little harder to pull off than in years gone by, the rest of us are going to be dealing with not just the pain and an awkward control system, but also a ruthless AI that takes no prisoners.

Visually, for the most part the game looks great. The front end looks a little rougher than you might expect had you never played the 8-year old original Arcade version, but those who loved the original will be glad to see an exact replica on their PSP screens. Purists may choose to play the game in its original 4 x 3 mode, with customisable borders on the left and right of the screen, or you can play it in full, widescreen mode. In-game screens are detailed and vivid. Some will swear that Street Fighter has never looked so good. The audio is ok. The music isn’t something you’d necessarily want to rip to your mp3 player and listen to, but again, everything has made it across from the arcade version.

In theory, loading times, the bane of many a PSP release shouldn’t be problem here. Surely, a 2D beat-em-up should be the perfect pick-up and play portable game. Sadly, the loading times, both between rounds and between fights, are too long. From the selection of your character in Arcade Mode, through to the commencement of the fight, you are facing a 30 second wait.

Too much time spent watching loading screens and not enough time spent playing.

Then there’s the question of whether a fighting game even belongs on a handheld like the PSP. Six months on from launch, I no longer handle the PSP with kid gloves or look at it in awe. Even so, in the last seven days playing Street Fighter Alpha 3 Max, the handheld has taken a greater pounding than in the previous 25 weeks put together. Is the PSP even built for this kind of punishment?

One last thing; there’s nothing new here that we haven’t all seen before. If Street Fighter was a singer and not a game franchise it would have retired to Vegas a long time ago, where it could perform the same routine seven nights a week to its loyal fans. Even if you think your hands can take the punishment, I’d still recommend you rent this one before buying. If you’re a hard-core Street Fighter fan, and can put up with the PSP’s shortcomings, then you’ll surely enjoy Street Fighter 3 Alpha Max.

You’ve got to figure that, two years on, poor old Steve Allcock, who was sacked by a Lancashire Bus company for playing his PSP while driving the bus, has been punished enough. But you’d be wrong.

Problem is, we badly wanted an excuse to revisit a post that first appeared in March 2006 over at PALGN. Blame it on our love of Lego, and puerile toilet humour if you must, but we like to think of this post as a public service. In order to prevent any further embarrassment to Steve and anyone else out there who’s a little confused about what society expects of them, we’d like to remind you of scenarios and environments were you should avoid playing the PSP or your handheld of choice.

You might think of it as reheated left-overs, environmentally correct recycling, or a slow news day. Here in the TIG lab, We call it Classic Incomplete Gamer.

Plain dumb play of the week goes to bus driver Steve Allcock, who was sacked by Blackburn Transport, a Lancashire Bus company after being reported by passengers, for playing Grand Theft Auto Liberty City Stories while driving the bus.

Now it could have been worse. If you’re going to throw away your job, by playing a videogame, you should at least make sure it’s a game with a bit of street cred. This story has been reported far and wide, so if poor Steve can take anything positive from this embarrassing incident, then I guess he can consider himself lucky that he didn’t get sprung playing something completely lame, like World Series of Poker.

His eyes were on the road…just not the same road the bus happened to be on.

We just hope Steve’s learnt a lesson here. Firstly, Stevo, you were playing with the volume cranked up. Didn’t you think the passengers might have noticed the screaming and the gunfire? Had you actually been driving a bus through the mean streets of Los Angeles or New York, you may have gotten away with it, but the good folks of Blackburn were always going to notice the sounds of wanton gun battles and the squeals of high speed car chases.

Secondly, there was a closed circuit television camera recording your every move. Why did you think there was a camera there? Recording a bloopers tape for the Blackburn Transport Christmas Party perhaps? Now Steve, we know the game’s addictive. I played it, I loved it, hell, I’m still playing it. But there’s a sleep button, an off button and a save function. Hello.

Or was it just not hard enough for you? You were breezing through the missions and you needed to up the ante a little. Stevo, you could have just dimmed the screen a little, or chosen crappier getaway vehicles. Endangering the lives of your bus passengers was possibly a little…what’s the word…IRRESPONSIBLE! Of course, it may just be that you really wanted to get fired. Perhaps you’d tried all the usual things. Coming to work naked on ‘Casual Friday’, usually does the trick, but perhaps you needed something absolutely guaranteed to get you sacked.

In Steve’s defence, there were no specific signs in the bus about not playing the PSP while driving. Sure, there are signs saying ‘no smoking’ and ‘no eating and drinking’, but nothing about portable gaming. And from memory the PSP manual doesn’t specifically mention anything about the dangers of playing while driving public buses either, so perhaps Steve has grounds for appeal.

As way of a public service, and in order to prevent any further embarrassment to Steve and anyone else out there who’s a little confused about what society expects of them, I’ve drawn up a quick list of scenarios and environments were you should avoid playing the PSP or your handheld of choice.

• The toilet: Just because you can take it everywhere doesn’t mean you should. In case you were under any illusions, the ‘P’ in PSP stands for Play! The toilet’s a no-go area. There’s the obvious health issue and the accidental ‘drop it in the loo’ problem too. And if the lure of portable gaming on the bog is just too strong, just make sure you don’t tell anyone about it. Disclaimer. Note the En-suite Exclusion – if you’re playing in the en-suite, or your toilet is in the bathroom, then the lines are a little blurred. ‘Look, it’s a toilet. No look, it’s a bathroom.’ Put the handheld on the edge of the vanity and watch a movie and it’s probably ok.

No….it’s not a sterile environment!

• Intimate relations: You might like to think you have all the moves, hell you may be quite the Casanova, but if you really want to impress I’m going to advise that the PSP remains in sleep mode until the end of ‘proceedings’. Nowadays, a quick game of Lumines may well be the politically correct, modern day equivalent of the post-coital cigarette. General rule of thumb; the PSP should be the last thing you turn on.

Nothing to see here…she’s just tying his shoelaces.

• At a nightclub: You may think you look hip and cool and incredibly smooth playing Sudoku while trying to pick up, casting furtive glances at the gorgeous brunette at the bar, while you tackle the Japanese brain puzzler, but truth is you just look like a complete prat. Don’t try hiding it in your pocket either, she won’t think you’re pleased to see her, she’ll just think you’re a complete prat with a PSP jammed into their trouser pocket.

• While wearing any form of protective headgear: Natalie Portman wore protective headgear in Garden State, and still managed to look good. Repeat after me: you are not Natalie Portman! If the headgear’s a must then portable gaming’s a bust… I don’t care whether you’re kicking butt in Street Fighter or muscling your way through Madden NFL 06.

Repeat after me…you are not Natalie Portman

• The bank: Sure, waiting in bank queues can be frustrating, but you want to think twice before whipping out your handheld gaming console of choice. Of course it depends what you’re playing. A quiet game of Lemmings might be fine, but obviously anything with gunfire is not a great idea. Games with angry dialogue are ok, as this should go unnoticed amongst your fellow frustrated queuers.

• Anywhere in public: I know, I know. You’ve played your handheld portable gaming device of choice on the bus, the train, in the school grounds and down at the local mall. You also know you felt just a little weird doing it. Come on. Admit it. Truth is, portable gaming in public is a little like picking your nose. Sure it happens, but no one is really all that keen on anyone seeing them do it. Why do you think Nintendo keep making its handhelds smaller and smaller?

With Mercenaries 2: World in Flames dropping into your favourite video games retail outlet in a little over three months we thought it an opportune time to revisit the controversy which surrounded this title back in June 2006. We also really wanted a reason to republish an article which first appeared in a slightly different guise in June 2006 over at PALGN. You might think of it as reheated left-overs, enviromentally correct recycling, or a slow news day. We call it Classic Incomplete Gamer.

All of those clamouring for greater realism in games will no doubt be pleased by the latest publicity surrounding Pandemic’s upcoming game, Mercenaries 2: World in Flames. The game has Venezuelan politicians in a lather. According to a Reuters report, the video game provides a blueprint for violently overthrowing President Hugo Chavez. That’s right. You read correctly; a blueprint! Pandemic lead designers need to take a bow. Sure, IGN voted you runner-up in the PS3 Best Action category, E3 2006, but that pales into comparison to these accolades from the Venezuelan pollies.

Let’s just suspend our disbelief for a few minutes, and consider for a moment that the Venezuelan law makers are actually onto something. I’m as cynical as the next man. Venezuela is the world’s number 5 oil exporter. You’d have to expect that if the Commander in Chief of the world’s most powerful country did have a list of destinations he’d like to send his troops to, that Venezuela would at least make the top ten. And the fact that Pandemic were responsible for the video game Full Spectrum Warrior, and its sequel, Full Spectrum Warrior – Ten Hammers, both of which are based on a simulation commissioned by the US Army, obviously can’t help but increase the Venezuelans anxiety levels. But are we seriously to believe that Department of Defence top brass are using this game as a blueprint for an invasion of Venezuela? I’m willing to believe the US would invade another country without a plan. Hell, they may already have done so on a number of occasions, but frankly, I’m not entirely convinced that on present form, the US military could be bothered to actually complete the game 100% on the highest difficulty levels, before green lighting the mission.

Now if we are to believe it’s a ‘virtual’ blueprint of the coming invasion, then President Chavez need only pre-order his PS3 at downtown Caracas, play through the game, jot down some notes and set up his defensive strategies accordingly. Hell, he can even save himself the cost of the PS3 and game bundle (the not insignificant sum of 1,417,218.00 Venezuela Bolivares at current exchange rates), and simply download a guide from Gamefaqs.

The whole virtual blueprint argument loses a bit of steam however when you head over to Pandemic’s Mercenaries 2 game site and discover this next gen title is an open world action game. Pandemic boasts that one of its key features is that it’s “a massive, reactive, and completely unscripted game world!” Completely unscripted! That bit of news is bad, both for the US military planners who Venezuelan authorities may have feared would follow the single player mission to a victorious conclusion, and at the same time for President Chavez who can no longer simply rely on a game guide to repel the mercenaries.

Venezuelan politicians have suggested that the game could even help lay the psychological groundwork for an actual invasion. Sure, a recent AP-AOL video games poll conducted in April indicated that 4 out of 10 Americans are playing video games. By all accounts, that represents a much higher figure than the Bush administration’s current approval rating, but you’re never going to get this particular game into the hands of all 40% of Americans, so it’s not exactly going to be a terribly effective way of getting the word out to the US general populace.

Pandemic has, not surprisingly, been keeping low to the ground on this one, but lead designer, Scott Warner did have this to say on the Pandemic forums: “Mercenaries 2: World in Flames is a work of fictional entertainment. The story, characters and setting of the game should in no way be construed as negative towards the current Venezuelan government or the people of the country. One of the key reasons Venezuela was chosen for the setting of Mercenaries 2 is that is a fascinating and colourful country full of wonderful architecture, geography and culture…”

So there you have it. Pandemic just wanted a nice ’sandbox’ for all you mercs to play in. After all, there’s no reason war has to be ugly. There’s no conspiracy, no impending invasion. And if the US Department of Defence do pre-order a few PlayStation 3’s in the coming months, I’m sure they’re just for use in the Pentagon rec rooms.

On a bang-for-your-buck basis, a PSP game I picked up last year might be the best value video game I’ve ever purchased. It certainly helped that the game, Go Sudoku!, had been marked down to $20. For the uninitiated, Go Sudoku! comes with 1000 of the numerical brain puzzlers with more available online for anyone who still wants more after they finish all one thousand of the challenges.

If the price of admission still sounds a little high you can always sample a free demo. Take your pick of the PSP demo (it’s the Japanese version titled ‘Kazuo‘) available here, or you can download a free Sudoku! demo from the Playstation Store. The game was created by Sumo Digital, who also ported the title across to the PS3. The PS3 version is the more bright and shiny of the two, outputting in all its 1080i glory, but really, there is little to separate the two.

Go Sudoku! has the kind of slick presentation that Lumines fans will appreciate, without any of that frenetic manipulation and without the funky beats. The music here is more new-age fare. You’re more likely to nod off than get your groove on, but together with the slick, earth, air, fire and water backdrops, it provides a similar transcendental experience, albeit of a more relaxing kind.

Each puzzle comes with a specified completion target time to aim for, a target I’ve been woefully unable to match to date, with most of my games clocking in at the twenty-minute mark. If your brain’s still agile then this is the perfect pick up and play experience. If like me, the wheels are turning a little slower, it’s more pick up and play…and play some more. You might think I’d become quicker with practice, but you must also allow for the law of diminishing returns to kick in around puzzle number 20. Basically, each puzzle will become slightly less enjoyable than the one before. That, coupled with an ever increasing level of difficulty, will pretty much ensure my average game time won’t move far below its current level. Even if we cut my average time in half to ten minutes, I’m still staring down the barrel at 10,000 minutes to play through the game, and that’s without downloading more of the buggers. 500 minutes of game play for $1 isn’t to be sneezed at.

Some of us rent to see if a game’s worth buying, the rest of us rent and play the entire game.

You know, there are a few often overlooked advantages at not excelling at video games. Yes, it’s a bummer if you can never reach that first save point, even with the walk- through in front of you. Sure it’s frustrating and a bad omen, when you’re having trouble inputting your name into the profile screen because the controls are so unintuitive and you settle for ‘AAA’, not because you’re lazy but because you simply can’t enter anything else.

But the opposite has its bad points too. Seriously, video gaming mastery has its drawbacks. We’ve all read the reviews, where the writer tells us how many hours it will take to play through the game in its entirety and frowns upon any game that serves up anything less than ten hours. Imagine being that good that you’re blowing through games so damn quick. You know, it’s like that office smart arse who reckons he can drive Sydney to Canberra door-to-door in less than two hours. It’s not so much you don’t believe him, but, hell, it’s a meaningless figure for the rest of us not driving a performance vehicle and without the means to pay the pricy and inevitable speeding fines.

Perhaps we need something more meaningful when measuring the hours it will take to play through a title. We’re not all video gaming gods. For us mere mortals a ten-hour play through simply means we may well actually complete the game sometime this calendar year. Averaging a puzzle a day, Go Sodoku! is likely to provide me three years of enjoyment. I’ll drop you a line in 2010 when I clock it.

Excerpts from this article were first published on the 12th of June 2006 by PALGN in the weekly column The Wrap (#16)